Why can't we get Cletidus Hunt to hold out?

Could somebody please slip Boo-Hoo Drew's phone number to our 3-time Mr. Lackluster Performance? Perhaps Boo-Hoo Drew could convince Cletidus Hunt that he couldn't"fathom" allowing someone so lackluster as him to play for such a pittance.

If we can't add better players, perhaps we could find some creative ways to get better by subtraction.